Lead Me to the Rock

It's hard to believe my last blog post was in December. Then again, I suppose it's not. As most of you know, school started full swing in January and it has taken almost every free second of my time. Navigating the waters of graduate school after being out of college for seven years has been challenging. I have moved from income to no income, free time to no free time, and sanity to insanity. As I near the end of the semester finals are upon me, I've realized just how steep my learning curve has been these past few months. Moving from the top of my ICU game to the bottom of my Anesthesia game. I have the 'deer in headlights' look all over again. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't tough. I'd also be lying if I said it wasn't the hardest thing I've ever attempted. I'd especially be lying if I said I hadn't thought about quitting. One moment I was celebrating my acceptance and the next moment reality hit. Mornings begin at 0400 and nights end at 1930. At one point I even questioned whether or not I could possibly fit more information into my brain. 

Nights like tonight I'm reminded of my school testimony and just how I got here. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania - home of the Pittsburgh Panthers and University of Pittsburgh School of Nurse Anesthesia. It was nothing short of a miracle. When I think of all the ways God's hand has directed my path to this program the idea of quitting seems so far fetched. 

God is faithful. He has been sustaining me every step of the way and I am so grateful. I am especially thankful for the people He has placed in my life. 

In two weeks, I'm moving down the street and into a more luxurious apartment with two of the girls in my program (Paige and Janna). I mention their names because I assume you'll be hearing much more about them in the future. They are the loveliest girls and I am thankful to have them in my network here. Unfortunately, we don't have any pictures together at the moment. Financially, it is a good move for all three of us and honestly I think swimming through the program together will be beneficial as well. 

Terah has been wonderful as well and I praise God everyday that he is in my life. I am so thankful that he was persistent and didn't give up on me when I had my head in the clouds. Things have been rough, making a go of it with 1200 miles between us, but I couldn't do it without his support. In March, I had a little bit of a spring break and forgot I was in school. He took me to Toronto and Niagara Falls Canada. What a blessing it was and allowed me some much needed relaxation. 

Sarah, my old roommate, sends me encouraging bible verses and they always come at the perfect time. Right as I'm about to head to my OR room, or on my lunch break from clinical. I'm so blessed by her continued presence in my life. 

Cobin and Julie, my cousins who happen to practice anesthesia, offer their words of wisdom frequently and upon any request. This is invaluable and I am so happy to have them several steps ahead guiding me along the way. 

My mom has been a faithful listening ear, she is always there to hear my stories and give me her advice. Although she said she's never seen me like this, she will always have words of encouragement that get me thought the toughest of times.

My Dad has been a constant support and I wouldn't be here today without him. He is coming up to help me move in two weeks. I think he must have fainted when I told him I was moving yet AGAIN, but he recovered and said the "Medori Moving Company" is still in business. Praise The Lord! 

I would be lost without Thea and Dan, two members of my church here in Pittsburgh. Their words of advice and encouragement are so valuable. They are both CRNA's and I take all the guidance I can get. I recently resigned from teaching Sabbath school because I have far too much on my plate. Dan was very understanding and he said, "I know it can seem pretty overwhelming once you first start in the OR and you wonder how on earth will you ever get to the point of knowing what you are doing. You will. You'll be fine. Ultimately, your spiritual and emotional health is priority for you right now and if they aren't where they should be, then everything else will suffer." I couldn't help but think how he hit the nail on the head. I have wondered over and over again just how I'm ever going to learn everything I need to learn, and get to the point where I know what I'm doing. Hearing this from someone who has been where I'm at is very encouraging.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel and when we are going through the tunnel we must not forget who is the Conductor. He will be with us every step of the way.

This too shall pass.

"From the end of the earth I will cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I."

Psalms 61:2 KJV

"Have I not commanded thee? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go."

Joshua 1:9 NKJV

Tid bits from Anesthesia School. . .

My Bio Sketch...

Conference room in my new building... 

Studying... 

Oh! That's Janna back there too! 

Learning the basics on suturing... 

Becky and Janna

 Central Line Simulation

Dan the man!

Setting up my area! 

Sometimes test questions seem like this... 

Representing John Deere in the OR! 

Just for my BABE! 

Sarah (my undergrad roommate) and her beautiful family! 

Inspirational scripture on my mirror in the bathroom... 

And in the shower...

Terah drove out for Valentine's Day! 

Valentine's Day Surprise! 

South Dakota truck navigating the city! 

Touring Niagara Falls! 

View from my hotel room! 

Walking around Niagara! 

Touring Toronto! 

Casa Loma! 

What I have learned from life is that for every inch of sadness lies a foot of happiness ahead. I've learned that the simplest of times bring the grandest of pleasures and that the hardest goodbyes often lead to the best hellos. I've learned that crazy chances guide us to unexpected discoveries, and that tough times unveil the sincerity of people. I've learned that you have to hold on to your smile everyday and free yourself of that frown. 

Until we meet again! 

Finding Value in the Little Things: Thomas Jason Bacon 2

April 2nd, 2014, my grade school friend passed away. Some of you may remember my post about him from April 2014. I was living Arizona at the time and I was unable to make it to his funeral. I was deeply disappointed. 

Thomas Jason Bacon - Blog Post

This evening, I opened a letter I received from the tax collection bureau pertaining to "taxes" that I owe to the New Garden Township. For those of you who don't know where that is, it is the township where my parents live. For some odd reason the government "thinks" I was living in Landenberg, PA for the tax year 2012, when in fact I was living in Elizabethtown, PA (1.5 hours north west of Landenberg). Before I became a travel nurse, I lived in Elizabethtown. I had been living there since 2011. That being said, the IRS wanted me to send them documentation of my Elizabethtown address. 

Back in July, when I first received this notice, I copied my 2012 W-2, PA 1040 (Federal Taxes), and a copy of my personal check (Payable to Lancaster County Tax Collection) that displayed my Elizabethtown address. I sent all documents in to the government for review. 

Fast forward to this evening. . . 

I opened a letter I received from the tax collection bureau pertaining to the "taxes" that I owe to the New Garden Township. The letter stated that my documentation was insufficient. It mentioned that I need to send in bank statements and utility bill statements to prove my residency. For the past hour I've been going through my file folder from 2012. Praise the Lord I save old statements and leases! 

I used to write hand written notes back and forth with T.J for about a year. I sent him a Christmas card one year because the church had placed his address in the bulletin. I wanted to send along some encouragement and some Christmas cheer. 

As most of you know I am a Christmas card sender - so off went my Christmas card. A week or so later, I got a letter from T.J., I can't remember all of the fine details, but I know that he was so happy that I had thought of him during Christmas and that I took the time to send him a card. The long and short of the story is, we kept writing. I could tell by the words in his letters that he genuinely appreciated chatting and the encouragement I was sending in my notes. I'm not sure when our letter writing ended, I believe it was around mid-late 2013. 

In April 2014, when I heard the news that he passed away, I went looking for our old letters, much to my dismay, I couldn't find one letter that he wrote me while he was going through a rougher period of his life. I was disappointed because in the process of moving, I figured they had gotten thrown away. 

Getting this second letter from the tax collection bureau tonight sent me rummaging through my file folder. I've been searching through my 2012 file folder for the past hour. I am happy to report I found all of the documentation that I need to send to the tax collection bureau. In addition to those documents, I found these...

A card and picture T.J. made and drew for me.

He was such a great artist. 

In side the card he wrote, 

"Jess, 

I wanted to do something nice for you because of the nice things you do for me, so I hope you like the card. It was made with love. You truly are a fantastic person and I will write you back soon. Good luck with your move." 

-T.J. 

Finding these two things in my old file folder warmed and touched my heart so deeply. I am so thankful they didn't get tossed in the rubbish bin by accident. These two items have no value to the world, but to me, they mean the world. I am so grateful for the friendship we shared while he was here. I will miss him until that bright and cloudless morning when the dead in Christ shall rise first and Jesus is here to take us home! 

Rest easy T.J. 

You had a heart of gold. 

TJ's Obituary

Radicals Come Together: Mission

"God is a missionary.  His redemptive work in the world is missionary work. The latin for sending is misso; and in His love for us, God sent or 'missioned' His son. Likewise, Jesus told His disciples 'As the Father has sent me, even so I send you."  -David Watson (John 20:21) 

This sermon is moving friends! My friend Micheal hits it out of the park! Praise the Lord! I highly recommend that you take forty minutes of your day to watch it. To be honest, it was so moving it made me cry at the end. 

Radicals Come Together: Mission

I was reminded that every day, no matter where we are, we are missionaries. One of the reasons I chose to study anesthesia was to broaden the arena of foreign missions that I could participate in. I haven't been out of the country for over a year. For those of you who know me understand that it is odd that I haven't been over seas in such a long time. My mind is renewed in it's thinking that, in this calling of education in anesthesia, I was placed here for a reason; not just for anesthesia school, but for life in Pittsburgh, and for every person that I will come in contact with during my time here. Until the day comes that I can share Jesus again with the thousands overseas, I'm going to rejoice in the fact that I am able to share Him with thousands here, right at home! 

Life in Pittsburgh

Where to start on an update. 

I suppose I will start with the biggest news. 

I reeled me in a man! Wait, actually, he reeled me in. Hmmm, that's not right either... 

God sent a wonderful man into my life.

I have been dating this handsome gent since November 13th, 2015. We became friends back at the end of May, and Terah hasn't missed a beat since. HA! I on the other hand, had some heart ironing to do before finally saying "yes" when he asked me to be his girlfriend (for the third time) in November. 

He is a man after God's heart and I am thankful for his patience, and perseverance. 

I am blessed by his kind and generous spirit. He is a gentleman of the highest degree. He is encouraging and helpful, not just to me, but to all of the people in his life. I know you can't see it in the picture above but he has a sparkle in his blue eyes. (Maybe it is one only I can see *Wink*) His passion for sharing Jesus is inspiring. 

I always find him happy. It works out well when I have my stressful meltdowns! (Grad school really gets ya somedays! Mercy!) His love of life is contagious. 

Terah is a farmer from South Dakota. There he farms crop and cattle full time, loving every second of it. My first time visiting the farm was back in August. He was genuinely enthused to take me around and show me all of the happenings on the farm, along with all of the things he does during the day. Truth be told, I loved it too. Farm life is the good life! 

Terah is a romantic. A sweet romantic. Upon arrival to Minneapolis airport he presented to me Lilies, my favorite flower, an 8x10 framed collage of pictures he picked out that pertained to us, and a sealed card with my named penned on the front. In the card were beautifully written, profound words and inside the centerfold was scripted, "Jess, will you be my girlfriend?" Overwhelmed with the effort and thought of it all my heart was filled with joyous emotions. Of course I answered "yes" to his question. 

Life since then has been full. He was out here for Thanksgiving and we had a blast. I was planning to see him next at GYC, but now he has decided to drive out early and spend Christmas with me! My heart is happy. We are walking as God leads and are excited to see what He has in store next.  

Here are some pictures of our time together in South Dakota and over the Thanksgiving Holiday in Pennsylvania.

Life on the Farm - can't wait to get back there! 

He took me to the top of the hay bales to watch the sunset.

#RomanticMan

The things he had waiting for me when he picked me up from the airport. 

Little romantic planner! 

That's my man! 

#Winner 

Thanksgiving Day 2015! 

Longwood Gardens Free Admission

#Win 

Went back to Longwood Gardens to see the Christmas Lights! 

#TisTheSeason

My man chauffeuring me around! 

#LuckyLady

#Sabbathing 

Life when you date an anesthesia student...

He let me practice my IV skill on him!

 He's a rare gem, I think I'll keep him around! 

Got our pictures taken by a good friend of mine - Kara Redding! 

I think this picture captures Terah's genuine happiness.

It's the look I see on his face every time I see him. 

#LuckyGirl 

Like her on Facebook - Kara Marie Photography

Follow her on Instagram - KaraMariePhotography

Until next time friends, keep shining for Jesus! 

The Journey

Have you ever had one of those days where you were slammed with news that rocked you to your core? The kind of news that shakes you and makes you realize you're not as well off as you thought you were?  

Today was one of those days for me.  

In addition to that, today, I realized that I am unable to keep up with the hospital requirements that allow me to be a per diem nurse at Hershey Medical Center. A small piece of my heart has broken. For those of you who know me, are well aware that I absolutely LOVE Hershey Children's Hospital. 

Penn State Hershey is where I started my nursing career after graduating from Thomas Jefferson University in 2009. It was a divine work of God that I ended up working in Hershey because it was the last place I wanted to be. With that being said, my job there turned out to be the biggest blessing of my life and career. God is good like that, and in this moment I am reminded that He knows infinitely more than I do, and His plan for my life is better than anything I could ever dream up, even if I protest down the road He leads. 

I have loved every minute of working in Hershey - good and bad; every miracle, every smile, and every tear. This is the place where I learned how to be a nurse. I was shaped and molded into the nurse that I am today. I am forever grateful to all who had a hand in that process because I wouldn't be where I am today, or who I am without them. 

Over the last few months I've been journeying. I might even be inclined to say the journey I'm on is one I wish I could skip. I am in the midst of so much change and transition at this point of my life and to be quite honest, it is not easy. Sometimes I ache in places I didn't even know existed inside me. 

After chatting and praying with a dear friend of mine today she shared this with me... 

"Journeying through soul agony will bring you to valleys of truest peace." 

I can only cling to this hope and rest in the fact that Jesus is the only source of true peace.  While my heart is heavy, if I choose to look deeper, keeping my mind on Jesus, through the journey I will find peace I hadn't known before. 

I can't help but think of that song I used to sing at camp... 

"Walkin' and talkin' with my mind stayin' on Jesus..."  (Repeat) 

I am also reminded of this verse... 

"You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, 

because he trusts in You." 

Isaiah 26:3

At the end of the day it's not about how fast we get somewhere, it is about our journey. 

Penn State Hershey Children's Hospital 

PennStateProud

ForTheKids

I will miss working here - more than I can put to words.

I sent out my farewell email to all of my coworkers at the hospital. I have been blessed to receive a few emails that have made me feel genuinely good inside. 

For this I am grateful.  

I took my statistics exam wearing my new specs and my new boots.

Still awaiting results. 

While I'm waiting... I choose to worship, serve, praise, and trust. 

God is on the throne! 

Hallelujah!

Until next time, keep shining for Jesus. 

Lessons from the life of Joseph

One of my favorite Bible stories is the story of Joseph. Reflecting on his life, noting the way that he lived daily, is inspiring. Even in the darkest parts of his life, when the dreams God gave him seemed so far out of reach God was with him (Gen 39).  When Joseph had every reason in the books to give up he didn't, and in every way he remained faithful.  

"For Joseph there was another world than this present one, and in that other world, he lived as truly as he lived in this one." 

-Carlyle B. Haynes, God Sent a Man 

Joseph's life was anchored in an ultra reality. Amen! 

"It is a great comfort to believe that you live in God's thoughts, that He is planning for you in love, that He is shaping your life, that He has assigned you something to accomplish for Him, that you are His agent to fulfill His purpose, and that He will control for good every circumstance that is permitted to touch you." (24)

-Carlyle B. Haynes, God Sent a Man 

This was how God was with Joseph, and how He is with each of us! God works with the most unfortunate circumstances for the good of the "dream." I know reality, what we see, what we touch, what we hear, what we feel, and what we taste does not convey what God has in store for us. If Joseph had based God's current plans on his current reality, or perception of reality, he would have been discouraged and given up. God is shaping our lives and we are in His thoughts! Hallelujah!  We can't let up, give up, or ever stop trusting Him. He is the author and finisher of our faith.  

"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and every sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run the race with endurance that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." 

-Hebrews 12: 1-2

*Thoughts inspired by a good friend of mine, who lives in Colorado, and is preaching a sermon series on living radically for Jesus.  Joesph is a wonderful example.* 

As far as my life goes... 

I am stationed in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania!  Here I will stay until April 2018.  School is in full swing! I must admit it is nice to have my own place again, with my things that I've had packed away in boxes for three years! I have successfully created a nice small version of "home" space.  I love creating home space.  My place is small but God knows where I live.  

Left behind some of my heart in California. Missing this family like crazy! 

Cathedral of Learning - University of Pittsburgh 

Back to life as a student! 

My little place in Pittsburgh - It's home for the next two years! 

Had a draining problem in my bathroom sink... I fish-hooked this out with a hanger.

I've had better days... 

Out for a run and needed to get out my UnderArmor!

It's mid- October and it's in the 30s already! 

Made it to good ole North Dakota - for some visiting and pumpkin harvest! 

I could never grow tired of the North Dakota skies. 

Marvelous beauty. 

My dear friends: John and Amanda 

7 Acres of pumpkins awaiting the harvest! 

New friends and old friends! Julie, John, and Amanda 

With Ally bear! 

Stopped off in South Dakota during my travels! 

On the way to the river for some boating! 

In the big red pick up!

In one of Terah's bean fields in South Dakota!

Snuck in a camping and white water rafting trip with some good friends in September! 

These trips will be few and far between once January rolls around! 

Enjoyed every minute! 

Terah made it to the East coast to visit! 

Happy to have been able to spend time with Eric and Michelle too! 

Until next time friends - I pray that you all stay well and continue growing in your relationship with Jesus!